Some incredibly large changes have been happening in my life over the past few months. Such huge changes, that were bothering me so much, that my brother thought I was strung out on drugs because I was so messed up over them. Well... Contrary to his belief, I informed him that no, I was not and will never be strung out on drugs.

The changes in my life have been very difficult for me, so much so that I am just now, at this late hour able to start sharing with all of you even this minute amount. I know most of you do not know exactly what is going on. For now, that is the way I wish to keep it. I just needed to get some of this off of my chest in some way. Since I know few people actually read my journal, I figured this would be as good a way as any. The only ones who bother reading this are the ones who already know what I am going through.

If you are reading this and you have no clue what is going on, then I am apologize for the grotesque generalization I have made. I appreciate all of you who read this very dearly, and I appreciate each and every person in my life right now.

I am not going to lie and say that things are easy right now, I know you all are not that dim, and I am not in that much denial. What I am going through has severely taxed me. I am sorry if I have snapped at any of you over the course of this time frame. Life is not easy, nothing good ever is. However, it is the hardships-the struggles (both gigantic and minute)- and overcoming them that make life worth living. Only in times like these; times when our mettle is tested, times when the very fiber of who we are as a person is strained almost to the breaking point, that we get a renewed sense of self and direction in this world.

As always I will overcome my hardships. As always I will soldier on. Even as the life I was leading begins to shed away in layers, I will not falter. I will not be beaten. I can not be dissuaded, torn assunder, thrown away, or surrender. My life is my own. My choices are my own. I will tear through the static, drive away the clouds of doubt and self pity, and let the sunshine of willpower and hope rejuvenate my mind and body. Life is precious, and every moment in it is special. Even the hard ones. I would not change any choice I have made in my life. I am not who I am because of my choices, I am the man that I am in spite of them. Never give up, never surrender.